shut your dirty, nasty mouth

Few things bring me more joy than solving a complicated problem.  Few things give me more problems then annoying, snotty students. 

Excessive use of "retarded"?  Yep, you're getting warmed up.  Shouting that a classmate was "an IDIOT!" because he picked up the wrong worksheet?  Mmmhm, here we go.  Slapping the back of your friend's neck while everyone else is working on an assignment because you think it's hilarious?  Keep going, brother.  Comparing the slap to a girl getting hit in a fight the previous day?  Bingo.

"Student X, shut your dirty, nasty mouth."--me

Stares.  Stares from classmates, stares from his friends, and a stare especially from him.  But luckily, a silent stare.
 

On a significantly more awesome note, I got a habitual sleeper to stay awake during notes today by moving the podium so that he could sit "criss cross apple sauce" in the middle of the floor.  I even had him take notes on my pretty flower clipboard.  Totally worked--he got a little attention, stayed awake, and was one less victim I had to stare into note-taking compliance.