High Schoolers are such filthy animals. I mean, humans are naturally not the prettiest of creatures, but this specific cohort of the breed really excels in all that is vile.
I must have missed a memo on Friday about it being National Be As Inappropriate As Freaking Possible Day, but HOLY POOP ON A STICK was it ridiculous. The hallways have become a communal mating ground, with wild beasts rubbing all on each other, hoping to be shielded by the swarms of students walking by. "if we stand here along the wall next to the door and only look at each other, no one will notice us...we'll just fade into the chaos of the 7 minute passing time...". Guess what? I CAN SEE THAT YOU ARE MAKING OUT AND HOLDING ON TO THE BRICK WALL FOR SUPPORT. This is SCHOOL for pete's sake, not a freaking massage parlor thinly veiled as a truck stop. I think I'm going to start walking around school yelling "HAND CHECK" and making sure students actually come up for air at regular intervals.
Case in point: I brilliantly decided that helping out with the track team would be a good idea. So I'm in te fitness room after school on Friday, doing some strength drills with the few kids who are stupid enough to attend preseason workouts. Two students, one of whom is usually working out with us, are over on the other side of the room sitting on one of the weight machines. With several machines and pieces of equipment in between them and myself, it took me a while to realize that it wasn't two students sitting on the weight machine...more like one student (female) sitting on the bench (of some leg lift thingie) and her male attachment laying on top of her. I could only see backs of heads, but they were swaying in ways that isn't conducive to productive leg muscle building. WTF. STOP RUBBING YOUR TEENAGE SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES ALL OVER THE EXERCISE EQUIPMENT. I HAVE NO DESIRE TO WATCH THE PREAMBLE TO A NEW SEASON OF TEAM MOM. Luckily, a seemingly intimidating male teacher walked in shortly after my jaw hit the floor mat in shock, so he was able to do the proper yelling at the lovely couple.
On a second but related note, I also had the pleasure of discussing with a small clan of freshmen boys how absolutely repulsive, crude, and utterly ignorant it is to say that you "would totally fuck Ms. X" while walking though the hallways during lunch, especially when in close proximity to a certain student teacher. Lucky for them, I was nose-deep in my planning book as the comment was uttered and unable to detect which one of them let their foul mouth get the best of him, but I hopefully made it very clear that I would personally push for suspension of the entire group if anything like that was spoken out loud at school again. Save it for your COD party in Jimmy's basement this weekend.
No comments:
Post a Comment